F*cked by Krystyna Hutchinson

Author:Krystyna Hutchinson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-09-23T04:00:00+00:00

Period Sex

You think period sex is gross? Not more gross than the notion that so many women are walking around during the most stressful week of the month not getting fucked. There’s no medical issue with having sex while on your period. So why is it an assumption that when I’m bleeding it’s blow job week? First off, that’s insensitive. On top of unused baby real estate dripping into my underwear, you expect me to get on my knees with low iron levels to suck on your perfectly fine D? No bueno.

For some reason men think they are doing women a solid when they “allow us” to fuck them on our period, but au contraire, mon frère! This just in: having sex with a chick on her period is like getting a flash pass to an orgasm—we will cum so hard and so easily that you might actually think you’ve found the elusive G-spot!

Plus, no matter what your actual day job is, you can play doctor when your female partner has her period, by making your dick a literal healing wand come to life. You heard me right. A 2013 study published in Cephalagia concluded that boning while menstruating helps relieve the migraine headaches often associated with that time of the month.* So for those readers with penises: go ahead, with her consent, let your dick enter her vagina’s bloody hallways, and proudly proclaim “The doctor is in!” You can tell her Corinne and Krystyna said that was okay.

Now on to logistics. We’ve all seen the nasty stain that horse head left on the sheets in The Godfather, but guess what? The saying “put a towel down” doesn’t just exist because it’s comical; it exists because that’s what you need to do. Blood is a very easy stain to get out if treated quickly with soap and cold water. I don’t know this because I’m a murderer. I know this because I have been happily having period sex for years. All I’m saying is, like, hey, do you really go to the gym enough to make that eighty dollars a month worth it without taking a towel for the road every now and again? Gym towels are the perfect size for dangling around your neck while you work out or putting under your or your partner’s ass as you thrust your way to pleasure town (believe me, the phrase “pleasure town” is more disgusting than any period sex I’ve ever had).

And, women, while day one or two might feel like ass with that signature period diarrhea, after the initial terror that a period can be has passed, I suggest sex. But please, please, please remember that a period does not make you invincible. You can still get pregnant during your period (although it’s unlikely) and you actually have a slightly higher risk of getting an STI because your cervix is a little bit more open during menstruation so there’s more room for, um, “shit to get in.” Man, why aren’t

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